Well...hey guys. I know it's been a while since I had a non-chapter blog post. ... so hey! :) How y'all doin? Be honest wit me!
Anyway...the point of this message will be just venting/news/whatever pops into my head like the popcorn in Mrs. D's room's microwave cuz our microwave is stupid.
I got my SAT scores, and Chair and Will {one of whom will probably never read this} always pester me about what I got, so now I can finally tell them something. Most likely I'll forget by the time I see them Sunday and shall direct them here. I'll bet anyone reading this two bucks that Chair won't read this but Will will. Observe the usefulness of predicting one's friends. :)
The three main category thingies were critical reading, math, and writings skills. In critical reading I scored 59, which means I scored higher than 92% of sophmores. In math I got 48. lol. I omitted 9 questions and got 9 wrong. I scored higher than 68% of sophmores. Figures. As I once told my chemistry teacher when told that chemistry was as easy as math, "Math is not my strongpoint." And, lastly, I got a 65 on my writing skills, which means I scored better than 98% of sophmores. So there you have it. Now that all the numbers are out of my head...
*sigh*
Is it just me or does it seem like now, more than ever, people my age are supposed to have their live planned out? Maybe it's just who I surround myself with, but it feels like everyone around me has some inkling of an idea of who they want to become or what they want to do with their lives. And it's not that I don't know what I'm NOT good at. Obviously I'm never going to be a mathmetician or chemical engineer {may I direct you to paragraph 3, sentence 3 of this very blog post}. It's just....arg....
Somehow, in my own mind, I've come to the conclusion that they don't teach the things I need to know in school, and life is too short to do everything that I have on my list to do before I die. {Yes, I do indeed have a Bucket List. ... Yes, driving on the autoban is one of them.} It seems like it's not going to be possible for me to become an animal cop, photographer, comic book artist, writer, journalist, circus freak, makeup artist, selfdefense instructor, volleyball player, singer, creative writing teacher!! I mean how can I possibley do all of that in one life? And which one of these is what God wants me to do? What does He have in mind for me? What if His plans are completely different from my own and He wants me to surrender even my dreams to Him?
...
Can I give it up? Can I let it go? I dunno....I dunno.... the right answer is yes. Just as I'd say "Sure, if someone held a gun to my head and asked me if I was a Christian, I'd say yes" easily, but the moment someone with a pistol approaches me everything starts to get a little fuzzy and my determined resolutions of a moment before seem to blend together. Black and White mix around in their pait pots and turn into one, uniform, sickening grey... I don't think I'll ever know unless it happens - unless my fears are confirmed and I find myself staring down the barrel of a gun. I don't know if I could give up all I've hoped for.
But I sure hope I can. Because, you see, God works in myseterious ways, and it would be so like Him to completely shake me so that all I can hold on to in the world shifting and rumbling around me is Him, because He is the only constant security that I have. When my dreams shatter around me, I'll be forced to cling to Him like a child and trust Him to take care of me, instead of pretending to be tough and strong like I usually do. You see, {and it's strange I'm admitting this at all...perhaps I'll delete this post quite soon} strength is my favorite masquerade - my favorite mask to hide behind to show the world that I'm strong while I quiver in my boots and hope they can't see through me.
What would I do if my hopes were ripped away from me, my strength gone, my world shaken?
I don't think I'll know until it happens, and knowing my God, it just might. Because that would mean He would be my strength. And that's the way it should be.
Wrapping up this ventage-like-post-thing I suppose I shall one day delete....um...I forgot what I was going to say. Woops! Who knows? Perhaps I won't delete it. I guess it's pretty personal, but...I guess I don't mind. I guess I'm an open person. I guess, I guess, I guess because, you see, there's a lot I don't know about me.
ENOUGH ABOUT ME! What about y'all? Did anyone read this? Did anyone care? If you didn't, it's ok; it was more of a self-benefitting get-my-thoughts-out-type-of-thing, ya know?
Well...if anyone did read this and likes to read my blog for some strange reason...I have a few more story ideas running around in the twisted head of mine that I have. {what an odd sentence.} Obviously, the one i am writing now, Jessica...
I also am thinking about this one set in our world where this kid finds this portal cuz he's part dragon or something and he can travel to this other world.
Also, u know how I write like random scenes and stuff? Well, my friend wrote a story about this chick with cancer and that kind of inspired me to write a scene where this chick tells her best friend she has cancer and they like cry together, so I might turn that into something, and who knows - it might bless someone somewhere...I should pray about that one.........
NEXT! um........one that i haven't quite developed but I had the idea for this one time, is an alagorical story about this boy who wants to become a knight and the journey he goes through {symbolic to us, in our jouney as Christians}.
Next on the list would be the one about this guy in medival-magic times who goes on this journey to find this flower to save his dying sister and he meets this spoiled princess on the way and they travel together and stuff.
...that might be it......hm....yeah, i think that's it!
OH ONE MORE THING!
I saw Avatar recently, and I TOTALLY WANT TO BE ONE! I think it would be utterly amazing to be able to jump and climb and run and all that cool stuff like they do. I want to have a tail! i want cat-eats! I want to live in a world where the flowers go "blip!" and shrink into the earth! That was so funny. I want to live in their world so bad. AND OH MY GOODNESS I WANT ONE OF THOSE DRAGON THINGS THAT YOU CAN PLUG YOUR HAIR INTO!!!! Those things are so cool, they're like totally part of you, but they're....not..... I WANNA BE AN AVATAR!!!!
So, conclusively, your pants are on fire because the marshmellows licked them.
~ the slightly delusional Cap'n B! :D
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18 comments:
...your pants are still on fire.
oh dear goodness, now it's caught onto your hair.
Woops now you're bald.
NO SMOKING!
HAHA!! Gal, i love you! Haven't watched Avatar, but i really want to. Should put that on my to-do list.
And about a kid entering into a portal 'cause he's half dragon, that caught my eye because I am currently writing one JUST like that. Maybe we could do it together... we should.
And I understand what you mean about not having enough time do do everything. I mean, i want to be a writer, a firefighter, be an actor, wrestle an alligator (my life's dream RIGHT there), and sooo much more.
..... Oh, and while I am here talking weird stuff, if there is ANYWAY you can get Kak to put the name/url thing on her blog that would be awsum. I can't join the story again until she does. >.<
well now...
Hmm..well, your prediciton was right...herre I is, reading your post.
Hmm...this keyboard is a most cumbersome filter of my words and speed of tounge. What I'm saying is I'd have to talk to you in person about this becasue the words in my head would take too long to type.
Anyway, your post mirriors much of myself,(except you PSAT scores, better than mine, props my friend) I also have no idea where I want to go, at least you've puit some options before God, I got nothin' to bring to the table. We've still got two more years, so I figg'r that we'll work it all out somehow.
I hope this helped, if not, that was a severe waste of words. Anywayz, I'l prolly call l8r today if u want to talk...wonder if Chair will ever read this post...
Hannah, you can make me laugh any day. :) Don't worry. God will show you what he wants you to do. One day, you just sit up in bed, in the middle of the night and go, "Ah hah!" Well, maybe not but it will happen. And don't feel like you're the only one out there. I know of people in college who've changed their major like 4 or 5 times. There's plenty of time to figure out what you want to do.
Am I correct in assuming I was "the friend" that wrote the story about the chick who got cancer? If I am, than I'm glad that I was able to inspire you. That's always uplifting to hear. Because if I can inspire one person in my life and he can inspire two or three, than in a way, I've inspired 3 people. Pretty cool, huh?
:D
HEY BLOGGERS! To reply to your wonderful tidbits of genius...
rowan - You're a Gothelitic? Is that...a Celtic gothic? lol.
AVATAR IS SO COOL {if ur ok wit new-agey half-naked ppl lol}.
We should totally do a story together, but I claim rights to the one I have in my head. Maybe we could do something similar to that, though! Do u have my email address?
What do you mean? I put our story like on my blog as "RP". Did u see it?
Ok! *breath*
PS. it took me a moment to recognize who u were, lol. WELCOME! :D *throws an offical welcome party and hopes you can catch*
WILL! I agree! i have much to say to you! But tomorrow I'm pretty busy during the day; maybe in the afternoon or night we could talk?
I have to tell you about the thing that happened to me, lol. It's not as urgent now cuz I told some people and got it outta my system but it's still a funny story.
ALSO! Since u feel the same way about like life and futures, I have some verses to share with you! It was really cool cuz after I wrote this, I prayed and just talked to God and then I read a verse in the Bible that totally applied to me and was like, "Whoa...God, you're amazing!!"
so yes, sir, i have much to say to you, and soon!!
No, Chair shan't ever read this blog.
Meaghan! Yes, you did inspire me to write the scene I did, and I'd be glad to share it with you if you want.
Thanks for the encouragement!! :D
Chair hasn't posted in like almost two years of somethn.
I would love to read the scene you wrote. You can send it to me in an email, if you want.
And you're most welcome.
No, I don’t have your e-mail, but I will hopefully be getting a blog soon and we can do that. Depends on when I have the time to try and do something like that. But I’ll try and hurry. :P
Ohh, and you was right about the gotheltic thing. I have celts, pirates, dragons and kings in my ancestors. (Explains why I go roaming around in the dark in a cloak near the street freaking out people…)
Will - I know. And you know what else hasn't been active in a while? That story thing wit pirates that was goin on wit Marissa and Ryan. Sad, huh?
CALL ME MAN! please!
Meaghan - I sent u da email! Enjoy. :)
Rowan - u scare people @ night, too? Oh good. I'm not the only one.
lol
I'm so jealous! I wish I was a pirate! or had it in my ancestry!
Congrads on getting a blog! :) Contact me once u get one man!
I totaly understand about the not knowing what you want to do thing. I want to write, draw, be a missionary, be fashion designer, make jewelry, invent new weapons, well you get the point! I am thinking about making movies, which pretty much envolves everything I want to do!
Hmmm...
*Thinks*
Grrr, this is too hard to comm-nt on, Bon-Fir-. I'm afraid that I hav- drawn a blank of infinity. . .
How-v-r, I'd lik- to thank you for b-ing so p-rsonal (If that is how you truly d-fin-d this post); it is a hard thing to gain th- trust of anoth-r fri-nd to th- point wh-r- you can talk about things lik- this~and to b- p-rf-ctly hon-st~I think d--p within your cranium, you kn-w a lot of us w-r- and ar- thinking th- sam- thing.
As for th- Pirat- story, I hav-
b--n t-rribly busy. This is my last y-ar in school; and, on top of that, I am coordinating an (Eagle—E is required) Proj-ct.
I'll hav- you know, in conclusion, that I am working on a short lit-rary works of sorts: a short story involving a mous- ~p-rhaps you r-m-mb-r.
B-for- I sign off on this comm-nt I must say that I hav- a lot of flippin r-ading to do on this blog. . .
Thanks. I like how I have friends that I can share personal things with.
{so for everyone that has commented on here, thank you!}
Lol. I get that you have work; the pirate story's not as important as school or anything. I was jus curious as to what had happened to it. I'll let it die in peace now. :)
Ah, yes, the mouse...this sounds vague and somewhat familiar.
You, sir, will be attacked sometime during the night by a swarm of mad "E"'s that you've been neglecting, and if you're not careful, they'll eat your cat, too.
You don't have to read my blog; it, too, can die in peace. :) I get that you're busy. Priorities first. :)
AH! I can't believe ur a senior...
*belated shock*
Kierra - making movies would be awesome! And it sounds like it does indeed incorporate the things that you're good @ :)
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