Ok...here I go...attempting to be my random self again. More up-beat this time, though. Hm...I want a bagel. And chili. I hope that's for dinner. Oh! I burned my tongue a few days ago. Now the tastebuds are all white and everything. It's kind of weird...feels weird whenever I rub my tongue under my teeth.
I'm basketball manager! And we had a game Friday and a tourny Saturday. We lost. :( But I had so much fun managing with my senior friend. She's going to five me her volleyball shoes, if she remembers. Woop! That'll be cool. Anyway, I was having so much fun marking stats with my mechanical pencil. I felt so confident and important and unofficially official. I was keeping stats...from the bleachers. Well, not bleachers. They were like gigantic stairs. *wide eyes* They. Were. Awesome. You could lie down on one whole stair! It was really cool. We went to Subway as a team, too, and had fun there. :)
Hm...I think I should stroke my chin and try to look profound. :D Too bad you can't see me. But that might be kind of weird...cuz then you'd be a stalker. *alien music* Ok...I feel like if anyone is dedicated enough to read this weird post about me, I should do something for them...so...*throws a golden trophy at the first commenter* Congrads, you got the "coolest commenter with a golden trophy and a bruise on their head" award. :) Have fun. Let me know how much it's worth.
~ Bonnie
Sunday, November 9, 2008
Fragments of a dicombobbled mind
Confused. Tilted head. Contemplative. Happiness. Joy seen through another's eye. Appearance of one. Guilt. Sigh. Melting. More confusion. Regret. Wondering what words spoken shouldn't have been and what words unspoken should have.
Thoughtful eyes. Pursed lips. A knowledge of things to do, nagging the background of thoughts, like a timer ticking ready to go off. Dreams, thoughts, hopes, fears. Trying to meet standards not meant to be met. Chained by standards and expectations or the longing to fit in, to be someone. An underlying, rejected truth: to be someone, you shouldn't fit in. Judgement. Misspelled.
Apathy. Curiosity. What if? What now? Shackles of the world, of friends, of family. Tip-toing on broken glass. A longing just to do it because I can and not to care what anyone says. But once the moment is over... Rules. Meant to break? Meant to bend? Meant to chain? Mind. Meant for thinking. Fingers. Meant for writing. Chocolate. Meant for comfort. Legs. Meant for running.
Responsibilities...duties...things to do, read, write. Time. Time slips, fades, stands still for breathless moments in the corners of the mind's hopeful eye. Never. Pathes crossing and twisting. Friendships. Where they have been, how long they'll last, where they're going, how they started. Pain to watch, helplessly, as boats sink filled with those loved. Longing to tell them simple truths only they can discover for themselves. Want to be a friend. Just a friend. How to be a friend? I don't know. I don't know. Nothing. Anything. Everything. Circles, endless, like a DVD player stuck in fastforward. Sigh. Thoughts. Fragments. Notepad. Decipher it if you can. Take what you will. Clueless. Confused. But still...Happy to be human. Happy to be me. Are you? Retorical question. Your turn to think.
Thoughtful eyes. Pursed lips. A knowledge of things to do, nagging the background of thoughts, like a timer ticking ready to go off. Dreams, thoughts, hopes, fears. Trying to meet standards not meant to be met. Chained by standards and expectations or the longing to fit in, to be someone. An underlying, rejected truth: to be someone, you shouldn't fit in. Judgement. Misspelled.
Apathy. Curiosity. What if? What now? Shackles of the world, of friends, of family. Tip-toing on broken glass. A longing just to do it because I can and not to care what anyone says. But once the moment is over... Rules. Meant to break? Meant to bend? Meant to chain? Mind. Meant for thinking. Fingers. Meant for writing. Chocolate. Meant for comfort. Legs. Meant for running.
Responsibilities...duties...things to do, read, write. Time. Time slips, fades, stands still for breathless moments in the corners of the mind's hopeful eye. Never. Pathes crossing and twisting. Friendships. Where they have been, how long they'll last, where they're going, how they started. Pain to watch, helplessly, as boats sink filled with those loved. Longing to tell them simple truths only they can discover for themselves. Want to be a friend. Just a friend. How to be a friend? I don't know. I don't know. Nothing. Anything. Everything. Circles, endless, like a DVD player stuck in fastforward. Sigh. Thoughts. Fragments. Notepad. Decipher it if you can. Take what you will. Clueless. Confused. But still...Happy to be human. Happy to be me. Are you? Retorical question. Your turn to think.
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