Saturday, January 3, 2009

Things that should be stabbed by a nine inch, serrated knife

1. Math

2. Comcast

3. The level "Maelstrom" in Pirates of the Carribbean 3 wii.

But Captain Bonnie, I thought you LOVED pirate stuff. Yeah, I do. But when you've spent two hours on the same level, growling at your wii remote because it won't move fast enough, it gets a little redundant. The level starts out with you as Elizabeth on a ship, and you have to kill a bunch of undead fish-things before you press "c" and go to the other ship. Well, I was too busy trying to bust open them annoying little boxes with money in them {I'm in the middle of a fight - why do I want money? Can't you give me one of them turkey things that gives me energy and helps me not to DIE?!?!} and didn't see the pirates coming across the gang plank. Death number 1 out of like five billion, two million, three thousand, twenty two. To make matters worse, Calypso is being mean and deciding to shower you with lightning. SPECIFICALLY YOU. Oh, and the fish people are throwing lighted expolosives at you. Charming game, eh?

But wait. There's more. More, Captain Bonnie? Yes, most-likely-bored reader, MORE. Once you get to the other ship, you have to fight MORE fish-people because if you don't, your oh-so-valuable crewmate person {who has been fighting ONE single fish-person while you slave away at five at one time} will die. You thought lightning bolts were bad? Try hurricanes! And the worst part is, they're completely unpredictable!! So if you die and think "Hm, last time, the first hurricane was over by that barrel thing" and you come back to life and stand AWAY from the barrel things, it's not necessarily true that you'll be guaranteed SAFE. In fact, knowing the evilness of this level, it's probably more LIKELY to hit you!

*slams head on desk* I. Hate. Not. Knowing! I hate how I have to rely on something I can't control to whirl around my enemies and not me. It makes me mad, too. I have been sitting here, trying not to yell at the tv for a looonnnggg time, and I'm pretty sure if them fishies could see my face, they'd be running. Ok...that's basically all I had to say. Pretty worthless unless you, too, are experiencing "my-undead fish-people-aren't-dying-I-only-have-one-turkey-left-and-here-comes-a-hurricane" syndrome. Or if you want someone else's misfortunes to mock. Or if you're one of those people who dream about how great wiis are. ... sorry. They're pretty cool. Really fun. It's just sometimes mine doesn't move the way I think it should.

Anyways.......Ciao and have better technological difficulties than I! No. Scratch that. Don't have any technical difficulties at all. And that's an order! *waves sword around dramatically for emphasis*

~ Captain Bonnie Spinner
PS. I think my arms and feets are going to fall off from swinging and stomping so much...but on the upside...maybe I'll get muscles!!!! :D