Fragments of a dicombobbled mind

Confused. Tilted head. Contemplative. Happiness. Joy seen through another's eye. Appearance of one. Guilt. Sigh. Melting. More confusion. Regret. Wondering what words spoken shouldn't have been and what words unspoken should have.
Thoughtful eyes. Pursed lips. A knowledge of things to do, nagging the background of thoughts, like a timer ticking ready to go off. Dreams, thoughts, hopes, fears. Trying to meet standards not meant to be met. Chained by standards and expectations or the longing to fit in, to be someone. An underlying, rejected truth: to be someone, you shouldn't fit in. Judgement. Misspelled.

Apathy. Curiosity. What if? What now? Shackles of the world, of friends, of family. Tip-toing on broken glass. A longing just to do it because I can and not to care what anyone says. But once the moment is over... Rules. Meant to break? Meant to bend? Meant to chain? Mind. Meant for thinking. Fingers. Meant for writing. Chocolate. Meant for comfort. Legs. Meant for running.

Responsibilities...duties...things to do, read, write. Time. Time slips, fades, stands still for breathless moments in the corners of the mind's hopeful eye. Never. Pathes crossing and twisting. Friendships. Where they have been, how long they'll last, where they're going, how they started. Pain to watch, helplessly, as boats sink filled with those loved. Longing to tell them simple truths only they can discover for themselves. Want to be a friend. Just a friend. How to be a friend? I don't know. I don't know. Nothing. Anything. Everything. Circles, endless, like a DVD player stuck in fastforward. Sigh. Thoughts. Fragments. Notepad. Decipher it if you can. Take what you will. Clueless. Confused. But still...Happy to be human. Happy to be me. Are you? Retorical question. Your turn to think.